Love and marriage, Emirati style.

Not the occasion for a little black dress.

When I first met one of my Arab co-workers back in September, she told me her sister was getting married in December. “You will come.” I was very flattered to receive an invitation but didn’t want to get my hopes up. For us, wedding invitations go to close friends and family. I didn’t want her family to feel obligated to accommodate the new teacher.

Skip ahead to early December. My co-worker now spoke of the wedding in terms of how tired she was preparing for her sister. This time she said, “You will come?” full of hope and a tinge of pleading. It was clear that she really wanted me (and my Western co-worker) to attend.

For us, the festivities began a few days before the wedding at the Henna Party. You might assume that the highlight of a “henna” party would be the henna. Well, it’s not. The bride has been hennaed from her feet to her knees and fingertips to shoulders. Many Emirati families bring henna artists in from India for this special job. Unfortunately, when the bride finally appears at the party (near the end of the evening), every inch of her skin is covered, including her face. The bride wears a beautiful traditional white dress with a thick intricate belt. Her family dances her into the room to the beat of traditional drumming. The guests gather around clapping and making that “lalalalala” tribal noise (for lack of better description). The food is traditional Arab dishes featuring lamb or goat on a bed of rice. At this point, the guests begin to disperse. It’s at least 11 o’clock on a weekday evening.

Now, my Western co-worker and I didn’t know what exactly we were supposed to wear to a henna party… so naturally, we asked. We were told to wear nice clothes but not really fancy clothes. Really fancy clothes are worn to the wedding. I scoured the malls looking for something to wear and settled on a very classic little black dress. Let me tell you. I found the one occasion where the LBD is NOT appropriate. Picture me: black dress, black tights, black shoes. Picture them: Technicolor ball gowns sparkling with jewels and cleavage. Um. The one plus for me was that my Western co-worker wore slacks. I looked out of place. She looked like the waitstaff.

A few days later we arrived at the wedding better prepared for the lavishness we would witness. The wedding is for women only and takes place in a huge wedding hall built by the government. Acknowledging the tendency for Emirati weddings to get gigantic… the late Sheik Zayed built a marriage hall in each town, free for use by the local people.

Inside tables are spread around the hall with a catwalk leading up to the stage. On the catwalk are women of all ages dancing in amazing gowns of all colors. These are opulent, lavish, over the top dresses. Jewels. Bows. Sparkles. Ruffles. Lace. Cleavage all over the place. Of course, these women wear the makeup to match. I was so tempted to take photos but culture and modesty do not permit it. After much singing by a live female entertainer (wearing a dress that had a cut out over her buttocks!), the bride arrived looking beautiful and a bit bewildered. For this ceremony she wore a Western styled wedding dress… but of course, bedazzled. Eventually, as much of the guests are leaving, her husband and his family arrive. The couple stand on stage together for photos while the remaining guests eat cake. As the night ends, the wedding party follows the couple to their hotel honking their horns and flashing their lights.

Both experiences were unlike any other. I still can’t entirely fathom the opulence of the occasion. I mean, really. I’m so thankful for the hospitality of my Arab co-worker!

This is what I wore to the wedding and believe me, I was still vastly under dressed.

xo, jill